Power tools!!

In my family there are a couple sayings.... One is "everything is better with a power tool" and when you live on a farm this can mean anything from a chainsaw to a tractor. In my case though I generally like to get things done without a power tool.... Why? One; power tools and I do not mix well. Nine out of ten times I either hurt myself or cause damage to what ever I am working on. Second: I have learned to enjoy the quiet work and sense of achievement of completing a project with only the use of my mind and body. To this end I have a old fashion drill that I use for many jobs around the farm and if possible use a hack saw to cut material. That being said some projects require a power tool for precision and strength. And because I do not use most power tools this means that in order to complete a project such as that I have to enlist the help of a family member who does use power tools. That requires some tricky "negotiating"; but that is a whole other tale.

The Farmer's Daughter

Hopping Mad

i am mad..... Mad at the world and at people in the world. (Don't worry I am not homicidal) I am mad at the world that expects people to live a life dependent on money. Where we have to work at a job, quite likely doing something other then we want, in order to make just enough to survive. What I want to do is stay home, care for a house, yard, garden, children and spend my time creating things, helping others and not worrying if I have made enough to cover the bills this month. In short I want to be a stay at home mom..... But that is not in my current hand of cards. I do not want a job where I spend an hour or more driving to and from, where most of my skills are useless and where my quirks, my personal traits, where what makes me Me is laughed at, ridiculed and stifled.
I am mad at people who give up, who for one reason or another decide life is to hard to live and so they just give up. They may not commit the sin of actual suicide, but they slowly starve themselves by not fighting against the darkness and just allowing happiness slide out of their lives. Life is hard and anyone telling you different lives in a different world. Not is life hard, but it is meant to be in order to make the prize of heaven that much more enticing. And if you think you are having a rough time, a bad day, even feeling like you are in "the depths of despair", ask anyone else and they probably can say the same thing about there lives. Why do I dislike people giving up? Because it is one of the most selfish acts I know. There are always exceptions to the rule, but if you have been raised as a Catholic or a Christian then there is no reason to give up. That is saying that God doesn't know what you can handle and that he doesn't give you opportunities to make things better. The best way to make things better is to pray, work hard and Not Give Up.
On a side note I am also mad at people who aquire  things for a purpose, upset the current order to put    the item into use and then do not make use of it. Such as gates.... Why have a gate for a child's room if you are not going to use it? And if said child gets hurt or breaks something because they were not kept contained, how is buying another gate going to make a difference? If a child can't sleep through the night, and are old enough too, how does it help if you give in to their cries for comfort instead of braving it out and allowing them to learn to do without you at night?
Well I am good and mad, and so I am going to say a prayer and get to work. I may not be able to solve all my problems, the things that have me worried and upset, but I can at list finish things on my list, help others and try to move forward doing what God asks of me.

The Farmer's Daughter

Morning thoughts

i love to work and be busy. In fact shortly after feeling satisfied when I finish a list of things I start to become grumpy and listless because i don't have anything to do. I also dislike starting and stopping projects. My favorite thing to do when it comes to being productive is to start working right after I finish my morning cup of coffee and not stop till late afternoon. I often skip lunch in order to keep my momentum going. All that being said I am currently employed in several part time jobs and I loose so much time and energy switching between them. I also experience stress when I focus to much on one job to the exclusion of the others. I feel kind of like a ball of yarn being pulled in several directions. I hope that eventually this feeling will go away but for now it is the life I live. And I cherish the moments I get to stand still, breathe deep and relax.

The Farmer's Daughter.

June

In many ways June means new life, the end of old things and a time for a fresh start. In many ways I need just that, a fresh start. My life has become very busy and undirected. I do not have a simple list of things to do with the most urgent on top.... But a list of chores that are vying for that top spot. I can't see more then a day ahead and this makes me frantic. So my new mantra is "to be where I am needed most or where I can do the most to help others". Sadly this means that I cannot spend as much time at home and on the farm where things can get done even if I am not there. So while I wishh to be home, for now I see the most need elsewhere.

The Farmer's Daughter.

Memorial Day and other things

Well this week went fast. I was very busy opening up a house for the summer and of course working. Thankfully the home owners are back and I have a few less responsibilities till fall. Yesterday I took the day off from being an organist and spent the day being an organizer. There were numerous tasks to complete in order to catch up for being gone all week and to prepare for our party today. Today I went to church, had the second to last choir practice for the year and then came home and relaxed in my hammock. Then after a walk to pick flowers our guest arrived and the afternoon was full of little kids, good food, more walks, visits to the animals and the rosary. Clean up was a breeze and we discussed plans for tomorrow; Memorial Day.
Growing up on a farm Memorial Day is best known as the spring day when the garden is planted and the odds and end to do list is worked on. Not that we do not spend time remembering those who have served and died for our country. It is hard to forget that with five brothers either ex-military or currently serving in the military. I know a little off military life and can understand the sacrifices made for family and country. But to me parades aren't the way to celebrate (I don't like any type of parade for many reasons) but did our soldiers die so we could sit around watching bands play, cars and trucks drive by and people throw candy around. It just doesn't sit well with me. Rather, spending a day with family, working and enjoying life to its fullest by making things better seems to be more appropriate. I can remember so many memorial days being one of the only days my grandfather and dad would take off from field work and we would spend the day cleaning windows, putting up bird houses, fixing broken furniture..... Just generally making things better. Planting the garden was a family effort and I miss spending the time with my brothers picking out plants and working the ground. That is what memorial days of my past were like; family time.
Tomorrow will be similar since most of us have off from school or work.... But others will have to go to work and this year the garden will not be planted. Memorial Day is a week early so prudence says wait to put plants in that may yet be hurt by a frost. But we will still listen to music, eat picnic food and enjoy each other's company while we share the work and joy of creating a home.

The Farmer's Daughter.

Another day

the past few days have not been good for writing. I have been dealing with storms on multiple levels of existence. But today the sun is out and so far the horizon is calm. I have a lot to do, and I must be stressing because I had bad dreams last night about failing to make my obligations. But I wish to write down some observations, maybe they are right, maybe not. Life was not meant to be easy and we all gain strength from adversity, but to much adversity and life can be snuffed out.
Everyone I believe dreams of being the hero of their own story. Even if you try really hard it is close to impossible to imagine or dream from another's point of view. I can think or try to see things through my mom's eyes, but eventually it becomes me opperating on what I know of mother. That being said, I find that a lot of minor trouble, misunderstandings and confusion occur when I or others try to do too much for others based on our own observations and assumptions. Humans are the best at being erratic.
Enough for now, I am off to get some coffee, get my glasses and start my day.

The Farmer's Daughter.

Day eight or nine.... Depending on how you look at it

Well yesterday was Sunday and was a good day to take off from pretty much everything. So today was a regular say, the usual Monday chores, work and.... Thunderstorms!!! I love thunderstorms as long as they do not surprise me and wake me up in the middle of the night. On the other hand when I was young i didn't particularly like them, but they created a sort of festiveness around the house. And when we were lucky the power would go off and we would have picnics in the living room lit by candles. And sometimes we would be allowed to sleep downstairs where it was cooler. So as I sit here the thunder is rumbling, there is an occasional flash of lightening, it is pouring rain and besides the baby crying, everyone else is carrying as usual.
The farmer's Daughter.